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No Husbands in Wal-mart
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No Husbands in Wal-mart
(This is not about me but fictitious characters from another part of the world)
After Mr.Jones retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out.
Equally, unfortunately, his wife is like most women - she loves to
browse.
Yesterday his dear wife received the second letter from
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store again. We cannot tolerate this behavior anymore.
We forgave Mr. Jones after the first time he got out of line and now this.
It seems that Mr. Jones is determined to cause problems every time he enters
this establishment. This time things are even worse than before. Here is a list
of dates and things that Mr. Jones has done. This is outrageous and will not
be tolerated any longer. Our complaints against Mr. Jones are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras
July 1: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
2. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3' in Housewares. Get on it right away.
3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms
on layaway.
4. August 14: Moved the CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
5. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
6. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
7. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a mirror while he picked his nose.
8. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
9. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
10. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna Look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
11. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed by,
he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
12. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
and last, but not least
13. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart Management
After Mr.Jones retired, his wife insisted that he accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart.
Unfortunately, like most men, he found shopping boring and preferred to
get in and get out.
Equally, unfortunately, his wife is like most women - she loves to
browse.
Yesterday his dear wife received the second letter from
Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Jones,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store again. We cannot tolerate this behavior anymore.
We forgave Mr. Jones after the first time he got out of line and now this.
It seems that Mr. Jones is determined to cause problems every time he enters
this establishment. This time things are even worse than before. Here is a list
of dates and things that Mr. Jones has done. This is outrageous and will not
be tolerated any longer. Our complaints against Mr. Jones are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras
July 1: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
2. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official
voice, 'Code 3' in Housewares. Get on it right away.
3. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms
on layaway.
4. August 14: Moved the CAUTION - WET FLOOR sign to a carpeted area.
5. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.
6. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began
crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
7. September 4th: Looked right into the security camera and used it as
a mirror while he picked his nose.
8. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.
9. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly
humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.
10. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna Look'
by using different sizes of funnels.
11. October 18: He hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed by,
he yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
12. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!
and last, but not least
13. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited
awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
Sincerely,
Wal-Mart Management
[WoF]GoA.Pun- Admin
- Posts : 4777
Join date : 2009-04-23
Location : Alabama
Re: No Husbands in Wal-mart
i have heard of this before, but it was titled 10 things Not to do at Walmart Rofl.
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