A FUNNY

HICK JOKE OF THE WEEK . CHEAP HOME SECURITY SYSTEM 1. GOTO A SECOND -HAND STORE AND BUY A PAIR OF MEN'S USED SIZE14-16 WORK BOOTS .2. PLACE THEM ON YOUR FRONT PORCH ,ALONG WITH A COPY OF GUNS AND AMMO MAGAZINE. 3 PUT A FEW GIANT DOG DISHES NEXT TO THE BOOTS AND MAGAZINES. 4 LEAVE A NOTE ON YOUR DOOR THATS READS AS FOLLOWS;'BUBBA,BERTHA ,DUKE, SLIM ,AND I WENT FOR MORE AMMO AND BEER .BE BACK IN AN HOUR . DONT MESS WITH THE PIT BULLS; THEY ATTACKED THE MAILMAN THIS MORING AND MESSED HIM UP BAD . I DONT THINK KILLER TOOK PART ,BUT IT WAS HARD TO TELL FROM ALL THE BLOOD . ANYWAY ,I LOCKED ALL FOUR OF EM IN THE HOUSE . BETTER WAIT OUTSIDE TIL I GET BACK . YOUR GOOD BUDDY COOTER.

I highly approve of this. <3 hahahahha that's one way to keep people out of the house.

Funny funny funny

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT COME AGAIN .1# I ASK GOD FOR A BIKE , BUT I KNOW GOD DOESN,T WORK THAT WAY ,SO I STOLE A BIKE AND ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS HMMM

hahahahahahhahahahahahahha, oh VIA! THAT SO JUST MADE MY DAY!
XD XD XD XD XD XD

TWISTED SISTER 3,#SISTER MARILY AND SISTER MARIE ,ARE TRAVELLING THROUGH EUROPE IN THEIR CAR. THEY GET TO TRANSYLVANIA AND ARE STOPPED AT A TRAFFIC LIGHT. SUDDENLY ,OUT OF NOWHERE , A TINY LITTLE DRACULA JUMP ONTO THE HOOD OF THE CAR AND HISSES THROUGH THE WINDSHIELD. QUICK ,QUICK,' SHOUTS SISTER MARILYN .WHAT SHALL WE DO ' ? TURN THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS ON. THAT WILL GET RID OF THE ABOMINATION ,' SAY SISTER MARIE SISTER MARILYN SWITCHES THEM ON KNOCKING DRACULA ABOUT ,BUT HE CLINGS ON AND CONTINUES HISSING AT THE NUNS. 'WHAT SHALL I DO NOW?' SISTER MARILYN SHOUTS. 'SWITCH ON THE WINDSHIELD WASHER. I FILLED IT UP WITH HOLY WATER AT THE VATICAN ,' SAY SISTER MARIE. SISTER MARILYN TURNS ON THE WINDSHIED WASHER. DRACULA SCREEMS AS THE WATER BURNS HIS SKIN , BUT HE CLINGS ON AND CONTINUES HISSING AT THE NUNS. ' NOW WHAT?' SHOUTS SISTER MARILYN .'SHOW HIM YOUR CROSS',' SAY SISTER MARIE.' NOW YOURE TALKING ,' SAYS SISTER MARILYN . SHE OPENS THE WINDOW AND SHOUTS,' GET THE HECK OFF THE CAR !.

hahahahahahahahaha......

hahahah via, where do you find these? they're funny!

Haha hehehe lol funny stuff VUA, your a hoot man.

weeeee doggie!

lol via

CALL 911 .N#4 .JIM AND BUDDY WENT OUT TO THE WOODS HUNTING WHEN SUDDENLY BUDDY GRABS HIS CHEST AND FALLS TO THE GROUND . HE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE BREATHING ; HIS EYES ARE ROLLED BACK IN HIS HEAD. JIM FIGURES BUDDY IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK AND WHIPS OUT HIS CELL PHONE AND CALLED 911 . HE GASPS TO THE OPERATOR , 'HELP ,I THINK BUDDY IS DEAD !WHAT SHOULD I DO ?' THE OPERATOR.IN A CALM SOOTHING VOICE SAYS, 'SIR , JUST TAKE IT EASY AND FELLOW MY INSTRUCTION EXACTLY AS I GIVE THEM, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT . FIRST LETS MAKE SURE HES DEAD '. THERE IS A SILENCE ........ AND THEN A GUN SHOT IS HEARD. JIM COMES BACK ON THE LINE ; ' OKAY , NOW WHAT?'

5.#SILENT BUT DEADLY . AN ELDERLY COUPLE ARE ATTENDING CHUCH SERVICES. ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH, SHE WRITES A NOTE AND HANDS IT TO HER HUSBAND . IT SAYS, ' IM SO EMBARRSSED , I JUST BROKE WIND - SILENTLY , I COULDNT CONTAIN IT ANY LONGER. WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD DO ?' HE SCRIBBES BACK, ' PUT A NEW BATTERY IN YOUR HEARING AID.'

hahahahahah via, i LOVE THESE! sooo much! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

A man goes into a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink.

The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog."

"Oh man,” the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door.

Another guy walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog."

The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!"

The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chihuahuas as seeing-eye dogs."

The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What??! They gave me a Chihuahua??!"

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A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

He sat down.

The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

way to start my day right. =}

Yes feel free to share your funny jokes with the clan makes you have a bighter day. 6.# Credit is what keeps you from knowing how far past broke you really are

COME AGAIN.7 .#WE NEVER REALLY GROW UP; WE ONLY LEARN HOW TO ACT IN PUBIC.

8#.TWO PARROTS SETTING ON A BRANCH HAVING A CHAT 'DO YOU REALLY LOVE ME, OR ARE YOU JUST REPEATING WHAT I SAY?